2 months ago
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A mother feels like she has 'won the lottery' after bagging a man 21 years younger - because older men 'couldn't keep up'.
Michelle Rinella, 54, from Texas, ventured back into the dating world after her divorce and found herself 'bored' by men her age, who she claimed would be more concerned about 'where they could park'.
The 54-year-old ignored the many younger men in their 20s who she claimed 'kept messaging' her - until her now-husband Brandon Graham, 33, got in touch.
The psychologist said that while there was an instant 'fiery' sexual attraction between them, he shocked her most with his 'emotional vulnerability' - unlike older men who were more 'rigid and didn't need anything from a relationship'.
Michelle had previously been married to someone who was 11 years her senior but now believes the younger age gap 'creates passion' due to truck driver Brandon being 'fun, fit, and vital' and her being 'wise'.
Michelle Rinella (right), 54, has compared marrying Brandon Graham, (left), 33, to winning the lottery, despite having a 21 year age gap
The mother-of-four admitted that while she originally felt 'upset' by people's stares, now those who judge them only make their connection stronger because they are 'passionate about fighting for the relationship'.
While Michelle began the relationship feeling 'unhopeful', they have now been married for two years and say their love feels like 'winning the lottery'.
Michelle said: 'I think the thing about the age gap that made this relationship work is that the age gap creates passion.
'For me, he is young, fit, beautiful, vital, and fun. I definitely wasn't finding that with the 50-year-old men. To him, I am wise and established while still being attractive.
'It was definitely an instant attraction. On our first date, my first thought was 'he's even more handsome than in the pictures'. I mean there's obviously the sexual attraction right, that's like fire.
'But then there was this emotional attraction. He came with a level of vulnerability that I wasn't used to. Older men were just more rigid and they didn't need anything from a relationship.
'For both of us, it just feels like winning the lottery, everything we had been looking for, so that creates an amazing level of passion.'
Michelle had been on a break from dating and had only just gotten back into it in September 2019 when she first met the certified PT online.
The pair tied the knot in 2021 in a lavish ceremony complete with a three tiered cake and fireworks
The mother-of-four said that dating a younger man 'creates passion' because Brandon is 'young' and 'fit'
Brandon first reached out to Michelle via a dating app, and she admitted that there was an instant physical attraction
Before Brandon, Michelle was dating a man 11 years her senior, an experience she branded 'boring'
Michelle said: 'At first, I don't think I was very hopeful about it given the age gap. He messaged me. I opened it and thought to myself, "Another 20 something. Why do they keep messaging me?"'
'Then I looked at his picture and thought, "Maybe a quick hello wouldn't hurt!" I sent him a message that said "How old are you?" and he replied "Old enough to make you happy". He was right.
'There had only been one other man, right before Brandon. He was older than me. He was just the opposite of Brandon.
'He was just terribly rigid and it was such a boring dating experience that I couldn't keep doing it. Dating Brandon was a breath of fresh air. There was definitely more excitement.
'The older guy would be like: "I don't want to go to that place because it's too hard to park". It felt like he wasn't living his life. They couldn't keep up with me. They were just boring.'
The 54-year-old found an emotional attraction to Brandon, and explained that he came with a level of vulnerability that she wasn't used to
Despite the pair being 21 years apart in age, Michelle said that they are currently in the same chapter of their lives
For Michelle, the thought of people judging them out in public adds to the 'passion' and romance
Despite constantly receiving surprised looks from strangers, Michelle and Brandon love getting dressed up and going out on dates together every month
Brandon made Michelle understand that people are bound to stare at them in public, but they have to remain positive
Despite getting stares from strangers, Michelle and Brandon now love getting dressed up and going out on dates together every month and she even admitted it adds to the attraction they feel as they want to prove others wrong.
Michelle said: 'The other part of the passion is knowing that people might be judging us. It makes us passionate about fighting for our relationship. It's nice to be out just because he's so handsome.
'We walk in the room and it's like the screeching of a record sound. The whole room goes quiet. People are looking. It used to really bother me.
'He made me understand that people are going to look. There's no benefit in trying to make the worst out of it.
'Maybe people are looking at us because we're a good looking couple. If not, maybe they just don't know what it's like to really feel like this.
When the pair walk into a room together it often goes silent, but that motivates Michelle to make the relationship work
The pair tied the knot in 2021, and left the ceremony in a glamorous fashion - by boat via the lake
The pair often receive prolonged stares when out in public, but Michelle admitted that it might be because they're a good looking couple and not their age gap
Now, the pair often spend their days looking after Brandon's thirteen-year-old son and working their day jobs
33-year-old truck driver Brandon made Michelle feel like she won the lottery with their 'fiery' romance
'Even though others might be judging us, it just adds to the feelings of attraction now.'
The couple got married in 2021 and had an outdoor wedding with fireworks, leaving in a boat together across a lake.
Now, they spend most of their days working, looking after Brandon's 13-year-old son and eating dinner together.
Despite concerns about what the future may look like for them in 20 years time, Michelle tries to live in the moment and not let it worry her.
Michelle claimed that older men are unable to 'keep up' with her romantic needs, and that's why 33-year-old Brandon is a better fit
Michelle is concerned how the age gap will pan out in the future, but believes that there is no point fretting about it now
When Michelle turns 75, Brandon will be 55, which made Michelle resistant to enter a long term relationship with him at first
Michelle said: 'Right now we're 20 years apart but we're in the same part of our lives. The big thing is that in 20 years, I'll be 75 and he'll be 55.
'For a while I was pretty resistant to this as a long-term relationship because of that. He wasn't.
'It wasn't that I couldn't trust him to be faithful to me right now, it was can I trust you to take care of elderly me later? The thought of that is hard as we'll be at different parts of our lives.
'I'll be elderly and he'll still be young enough to be healthy but I just can't get stuck worrying about that.'
